Father’s Day as a Single Mom
To be completely honest, I am not looking forward to my first Father’s Day as a single mom. It’s not that I am sad about being a single mom (believe me I am not), I just don’t know what emotions I will experience. I don’t know how I’ll feel. I don’t know how it will feel to see other little kids celebrating with their dad, knowing that Sasha won’t be.
I’m lucky, I don’t have to share my child so Sasha will be spending Father’s Day with me. We are going to spend the day celebrating my dad and grandpa (her grandpa and great-grandpa). When Sasha’s older, I’ll explain to her that Father’s Day in our family isn’t just about dads, but all of the male role models that are a part of her life. She is so lucky to have them and it’s my job as her mom to make this day about them!
The other day, I had a thought. On Mother’s Day I always see posts wishing a Happy Mother’s Day to the dads who play the role of mom. I realized I had opinions on this. Let me be clear… I do not need you to wish me a ‘Happy Father’s Day’. I’m not Sasha’s father, even though I’ve taken on both parental roles, and I don’t need this day to be about me. But if you feel the need to, I accept that I’m playing both roles and will appreciate your kind words.
I want this day to be about Sasha’s male role models – her grandpa, great-grandpa, and even her uncle. I get Mother’s Day, I get every other day. Sure, I’m Sasha’s only parent, but I’m not her dad. I love her enough for both me and another parent, I do the work of the other parent, but I am not the other parent. So it’s understandable why some people may want to wish me a Happy Father’s Day.
This day is tough for so many parents. So many single mothers aren’t in the single mom role by choice. There are women who are widows and therefore turn into single moms. Their children still have a father – even if he isn’t earthside. My situation is different. My child’s father made the choice not to be in her life. I understand how some moms in my shoes may want to be celebrated on Father’s Day. I also understand how so many single mothers may choose to avoid this day altogether. If Sasha didn’t have such an amazing grandpa and great-grandpa who are so involved in her life, I might have avoided this day altogether too.
Fortunately for Sasha, and me, we have a strong support system of people that we get to celebrate. I can’t wait to share all of our celebrations with her and watch her grow into her own person. I know Father’s Day may be hard for her as she grows, so I will adjust plans as need be. Maybe we’ll make an annual trip out of the country, so that she doesn’t need to see Father’s Day celebrations happening around us. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure my baby girl is happy.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads, grandpas, uncles, and single moms playing the dad role! You are all superheroes!